they always come home for christmas

Home sweet home for 32 delicious days of break, the longest vacation since the beginning on nursing school. I can literally feel the stress leaving my body.

1. Really pleased with my grades this term. Pulled a 3.94 (A- in research, dullest class ever, haha) but I got a 99 on my med/surg final, which is really exciting.

2. Watched the lunar eclipse two nights ago. Dragged my siblings out of bed for it. The sky was brilliantly clear and the moon was amazing.

3. This is the Break of Childhood Revisited, in which I am trying to stuff in as much film and literature as possible from an earlier time in my life. This includes reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy, watching the original Star Wars trilogy, and at the nursing student post-finals celebration, I accepted the challenge of reading the Harry Potter series as well.

Six days into break and I've finished Fellowship of the Ring and watched A New Hope. Can I do it?

I want to go snowboarding.

2010 Réflexion

2010 Réflexion...

01. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
Snorkelled the Great Barrier Reef. Sandboarded. Put needles into real people. Did a flash mob. Jumped off a waterfall. Attended a fashion show. Kissed an Aussie.

02. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Hahaha nope. Dunno why I try.

03. Did someone close to you give birth?
Oh lordy, it was an explosion of babies...

04. Did anyone close to you die?
People close to people close to me died

05. What countries did you visit?
Australia, New Zealand

06. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Control... over any aspect of my life.

07. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The day I started nursing school was a pretty big deal for me.

08. What was your biggest achievement(s) of the year?
Making the spring nursing school dean's list, not failing any classes, crossing five things off the list of things to do before I die

09. What was your biggest failure(s)?
Not taking enough risks

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not seriously

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Ticket to Aus.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My parents put up with quite a lot of my nonsense. They're quite grand.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
None in particular, besides those in public office and a few fellow students

14. Where did most of your money go?
School and Australia

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Aus, bungy, snorkelling the GBR, spring, summer, fall, thanksgiving and christmas breaks, Dr. van Tilburg speaking at UP, suture class, sandboarding, the World Cup, SPAIN WINNING THE WORLD CUP! visit from my favorite Dutch person.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2008?
California Gurls - Katy Perry (west coast represent...how we identified ourselves geographically to the Aussies)
I Like It- Enrique Iglesias (last song I danced to in Aus)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you
i. happier or sadder? happier
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner
iii. richer or poorer? drastically poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Speaking up for myself, being kind

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Letting the crazy send my stress levels through the roof, ruminating on things past, complaining

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
With my fantastic family, which now includes an awesome new sister :)

22. Did you fall in love in 2010?
Erm, well...

23. How many one-night stands?
Well, there was a guy on the flight home that said the mile-high club would be a "once in a lifetime opportunity..." I let him keep waiting.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
America's Next Top Model, Project Runway, Dexter, How I Met Your Mother

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Some people I continue to avoid

26. What was the best book you read?
We Band of Angels -Elizabeth Norman
Band of Brothers -Stephen Ambrose
War - Sebastian Junger

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Mumford & Sons

28. What did you want and get?
The trip to Aus

29. What did you want and not get?
A functional relationship

30. Favorite film of this year?
Secretariat. It was a good movie, but to be fair, I think I saw two movies this year and I can't remember what the other one was.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Turned 25. Had the day off from school and celebrated by going to QLD two weeks later.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Missing the plane back. More of a summer.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Minimalist, Euro/classic/lazy. Sometimes I wear a skirt.

34. What kept you sane?
...am I still sane? Was unaware. Erm, vacation time, my family, trips home, the internet, red wine.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Yoann Gourcuff. French soccer star, current midfielder for Lyon and Les Bleus.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Can't think of any standouts, but probably anything regarding the war

37. Who do you miss?
My family, Rosey, Andy, Melanie, Aafke, Ray

38. Who was the best new person you met?
My nursing school buddies, esp Tina, Dan and Shane. They made life bearable.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:
Change your attitude, change your world.
Be kind, as often as possible. It is always possible.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
'Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be' - Mumford & Sons, "The Cave"

living with insanity

Since Australia, which you can read about as I slowly and ponderously wax on about here, I have been fighting hard, and more or less successfully, to keep nursing school from eating me (I heard a rumor it eats its young if they don't run fast enough. I think it's not a rumor).

My first week back on this continent was grey and lonely. Ate TimTams, cried, tried to get the sand out of my hair. Jetlag and insomnia moved in.

My second week back, my favorite Dutch person came for a visit. Among other shenanigans: we went out for beer and hotwings, out for sushi and beer and VooDoo Doughnuts and we read children's books in Powell's, we went hiking, drank beer and jumped off a waterfall, drank beer and went to Fashion's Night Out downtown, went to Florence for beer and sandboarding on the dunes... figured out the theme yet?

...not sleeping! Wooooooooo!

My third week was the continuation of my descent into apathy, but my mom came to visit. She was in the Philippines while I was in Australia, so it was the first time I'd seen her since early July. Pilots soccer game in the pouring rain. <3

It is now the middle of my fourth week. A little resentful of class, nervous about the first med/surg test coming up, mostly bored at clinical. I think this is because I prefer floor nursing. Anyway. One two-hour class and then I am officially one-quarter of my way through this semester. Small favors.


If I can the stress level down and my time out-of-doors up, I can totally do this thing. 10 more months.

no longer in paradise

Back from Australia. I think my heart is breaking.

trottity trottity trot

Confession.

I don't like to run.

I hate it when my legs feel like lead. I hate the feeling of half a breath of air when my bronchioles constrict... even though I think wheezing sounds interesting. You already knew I'm weird, though. Exercise-induced asthma makes running suck. I know loads of professional athletes have it, and control it, and play through it, but it sucks.

Some days I go running and I congratulate myself on my prowess, vowing to do it the next day, and the next, but when morning comes my body is sore and my legs feel like lead and I promise myself "just one day of rest" and then time goes on and I've been lazy for a week.

...but my back feels better after I run.

Maybe it's just motivation I need, and hopefully my back will give me just that, but I want to be able to run again.

More than that, I want to play soccer again. Soccer is my perspective. All the little things that bother me go away when I play, and the world is black and white again. The French philospher Albert Camus once said, "All that I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football."

see? I pay attention in class.

"Say anesthetized."
"Uh... goes to sleep!"

Prof: "What would J be concerned about in a person without secondary sex characteristics?"
T: "Whether or not he would date her."

whinge

Nursing school is taking a lot out of me. Maybe I'm just going stir-crazy from having to study all summer, but I have reached the point of not caring. School is not impossible, just frustrating for a variety of reasons, including the fact that I am not particularly enjoying psychiatric nursing. I understand the need for students to experience a variety of types of nursing to develop a good judgment base etc, etc, but I also appreciate that my personality type is not a good fit for psych.

August needs to come a little faster. One week till my birthday, two and a half weeks until sweet sweet vacation.

Maybe I should go into sports journalism.

eve of the championship

Pre-final article round-up time. Click the links. They are funny. And short.

Pulpo Paul was correct in predicting the Germans would beat Uruguay to take third place (3-2 final), but it was an entertaining match and the Uruguayans led for a fair portion. How Paul the Octopus ruined Germany's Cup dream.

In regard to the absurd number of handballs that have changed results this cup, what would happen if FIFA applied Sharia law. In my opinion, France would not have been in the Cup at all but for Henry's double handball to send them through over Ireland, but I don't think Suarez's handball against Ghana would be talked about still had Gyan put away his penalty instead of bouncing it off the bar. To be fair to Suarez, any other professional in his place would have done exactly as he did.

Rafael van der Vaart of the Netherlands reflects on his teammate Wesley Sneijder's success this Cup. "I suspect he (Sneijder) has a gold vuvuzela in his pants."

Finally, an article that pretty much describes why I'm supporting Spain over Holland for the final, even though I love them both. La Furia Roja, Pulpo Paul thinks you have what it takes and so do I.

the revels now are ending

Sunday is the World Cup Final. It is the day Spain and the Netherlands fight for the right to be crowned the newest world champions. In 18 cups, there have been only 7 winners (I'm lumping Germany and West Germany together), and while the Netherlands were runners-up in '74 and '78, they have never won. Spain has never advanced past the quarter-finals, so it's a big moment for both Clockwork Oranje and La Furia Roja.

I am emotionally attached to both teams, especially since spending time in both countries, but I tip my heart to Spain. In all honesty, though, this is a dream final for me. I can't be unhappy. Pulpo Paul is predicting a win for Spain, but his rival, a "psychic parakeet" in Singapore, says it will be Holland. Does the wrong one get eaten? Stay tuned...

It has been a month full of early mornings and lots of beer. I found a soccer pub to haunt in Corvallis, at least two in Portland, and if I couldn't make it to either, I streamed the games in class. Don't judge me... some things are more important than (the mechanisms of) breathing.

I totally want a vuvuzela for my birthday.

Sunday is also the six-month marker of my adventures in nursing school. 13 months to go.

Med/surg clinicals ended (boo) but I'm happy to note that my med/surg 2 rotation in the fall will be on the same unit. I'm in the middle of pysch clinicals and hate them. I have evening shift clinicals and it is terribly boring and crazy people scare me anyway.

alegria e paixao

The World Cup. The event so full of beauty, joy and passion that it fills my tiny, bitter cold little heart to bursting.

Sometimes I get up at 4.30am to watch the game before I leave for clinical at 6, because it wakes me up more than half a pot of coffee. Sometimes I stream the games on my laptop during pathophysiology, because soccer is more important than breathing (mechanisms). Shhh.

Semi-finals and the final are during my mid-term break, thank you Jesus!

...my teams are:

Spain -because La Furia Roja is my heart
Côte d'Ivoire -the African Cinderella story
Brazil -because no other team makes soccer look like so much fun
USA -because I am American, after all. And Clint Dempsey is my man. <3
Holland -because 'oranje est de kleur van gekte'*

Naturally, I also support Yoann Gourcuff (and not the French, mind you, haven't forgiven Henry and his handballs), and the Argentines. I'm an equal-opportunity football slut in the name of the beautiful game

*'Orange is the color of insanity.' -van Gogh

student nurse

eu estou estudando para ser uma enfeirmera.

('I'm studying to be a nurse' in Portuguese)

Student nurse. The words that define me and will for the next 14 months, not that I'm counting. It's both a blessing and a curse... a blessing when I ask a stupid question or do something asinine and then realize it, brushing it off with a "oh, I'm just a student nurse and I don't know very much yet" and receive a pat on the shoulder and maybe a bit of helpful advice, or when patients appreciate the extra TLC and attention that students are able to give. A curse when I introduce myself to a patient and receive a brusque "when's the real nurse gonna come in?" in reply, or when I stand around waiting helplessly for a real nurse to show up and assist me in administering narcotics or insulin (juniors can't without a licensed nurse).

I'm learning how to work the system, though. When patients ask me how long I've been in school, I answer that I'm graduating next August, rather than admitting I've been in school since January (and giving shots to real people since April). They hear "August" and are satisfied. Not that I'm bad at giving shots. I'm good at it. And for those other skills, I can fake confidence like you would not believe.

Patients are assigned an acuity level (number indicating how hard they are to take care of). I got my first level three today (harder than a level two) which made me feel like a big girl, which was awesome, and I am a fan of being challenged. I hate complacency. In other news, I'm still a "suppository virgin" -- the words my preceptor used when she found I hadn't given a missile pill yet. I almost had to today, but the patient refused at the last moment.

I have one more week of clinical at the big beautiful hospital with the gorgeous view. I hate getting ready to say goodbye just as I'm finally starting to get to know the staff and get used to the general run of the place.

I can totally do this nursing thing.

I love it.

they promised me this kind of exhaustion was "rewarding"...

Fourth week of med/surg clinical is officially over. They let me have two patients this week (at the same time!). Result: my boredom has ended.

Highlights:

-Successfully inserted a catheter. First cath, first try... never thought it would be such a thrill to poke rubber tubes into people.
-DC'd 2 IV sites, a catheter, and a hemovac. All this means pulling tubes out of various body parts.
-Made a patient's day by faxing her scrip to her hometown pharmacy... and it went through! (My lesser-known superhero name is Technologically Incompetent Girl)

In other news:

A cardiologist, a PA, an OT and a PT all treated me like an actual nurse and not just a probie today. By this I mean they asked me questions, discussed patient care and generally did not treat me like an idiot. Trust me, when you're a student nurse, it's cause for a party when people take you seriously. Or at least seriously enough to discuss stuff with you.

It was pretty funny when a patient asked me about something, and after talking to my preceptor and the occupational therapist (OT) about it, we told her to ask the doctor. The doctor came in while I was in her room, so she asked him. He said he didn't know and asked me.

Now I just have to get them to let me watch a surgery, like the cool kids on the ortho floor.

memorial day

At my house, we don't wait for Memorial Day to come around to remember our freedom. My grandfathers and brother are are all veterans, and my brother writes Acute Politics. The subject is never far from our minds.

During my semester break (1 week) at the beginning of May, my dad and I watched four WWII movies.

They Were Expendable - 1945, Philippines
The Longest Day - 1962, D-Day
Patton - 1970, 3rd Army from North Africa to Germany
Das Boot - 1981, Atlantic, uncut director's version

And then I read Band of Brothers by Stephen Ambrose, the book that follows E Company, 501st Regiment, 101st Airborne Division from airborne school to the beaches of Normandy to Hitler's Eagle's Nest.

While I recommend all of the above, should you have the time to commit, the book Band of Brothers is a fairly quick read, highly informative, and extremely poignant.

They Were Expendable is a John Ford-directed movie starring John Wayne, filmed during the war and highlighting the torpedo PT boats used in the Philippines during the Pacific campaign. There is an extensive review (7 parts) of the movie over at Big Hollywood that I highly recommend. The war in the Pacific is interesting, although largely forgotten. I'm about to read We Band of Angels about the nurses on Bataan during the campaign in the movie (in all my spare time). It satisfies both the nursing side of my soul and the history buff part of me. This from a girl whose passion was ignited standing above the USS Arizona on New Year's Eve and listening to people speaking in Japanese.

The flag flies over the grave of USS Arizona, Pearl Harbor, Hawaii

Das Boot is a submarine story from the German perspective and definitely worth watching.

If there is anything else I could say about Memorial Day, it is only that I have been to France twice and Belgium once and have yet to see the beaches of Normandy or Flanders Field, where my freedom was bought long before I lived. Liberté liberté chérie...

L'Arc de Triomphe, Paris, France


The Grave of the Unknown Soldier, Paris, France

Nothing moves me as much as the monuments to those who paid the ultimate price. Thank you to out veterans as well as to those who gave their all. You will never be forgotten.

sad day

Me: "I hate my life."
Friend and fellow classmate: "No, you don't! You know how I know? You don't HAVE a life!"

conversations in the kitchen

Grandpa: "Hey, your legs are looking pretty white."
Me: "I know, I wish we could hold class outside."
Grandpa: "Or tell your teachers to get a heat lamp or something."
Me: "Kiss my foot."
Grandpa: "No... your white legs might be catching."

i'll be over here, on my own little island

I think I'm officially the nursing school outcast.

Everyone I've heard from hates pharmacology and pathophysiology.

They're interesting classes. Lots of work, but super fascinating. The hard classes with the cool content always pique my interest, but when I go those classes, everyone moans about how hard they are and how they're going to fail. Naturally, they enjoy the classes about application of nursing. Those are alright to some extent, but I prefer the clinical setting.

Maybe I'm just weird.

Or maybe eight hours of class per day, two days a week, has already melted my brain.

My med/surg prof is hilarious though. She did say "I'm going to give you plenty of knowledge that you can use to win bets or drinking games."

:)

benjamin moore begs to differ

The first week of summer school is over.

Two days of eight hours of class per week. It's really hard to pay attention by the time we get to Mental Health at the end of the day. As a matter of fact, I pretended to be a T-rex through most of Wednesday's lecture. Mostly to stay awake, partially because of the sugar rush I was experiencing.

Med/surg clinical orientation was Thursday. I'm on a neurovascular unit.

Friday we got to do stuff. Attempted my first catheter, changed a trach tube and suctioned some lungs. So awesome. I think I'm gonna love this.

Then I drove home and we went to the beach because I just can't take the city and the traffic any more than I have to. We took the dog and some friends and had a load of fun.

Quote of the day:

Sam: "Excuse me sir, what color is your car?"
Motorist: "It's electric vibrant green!"
Sam (to us): "TOLD YOU IT'S NOT YELLOW!"
Motorist: laughs hysterically
Jessie: "I thought he said electric vomit green."

mixing up homophones

This is the part where I admit that I loved pharmacology. Almost everyone complained about it all the time, but I think it's fascinating. Can't wait for patho. I ended the semester on a high note... scoring about 90% in all my classes. Sweet.

Some quotes while studying for finals that I feel particularly highlight the special-ness of nursing students:

Me: "How does an oil retention enema work?"
Her: "You mean an oral retention enema?"
Me: "Um, no, all enemas go in the other end."
Her: "Well, it's for impaction, and if a patient is impacted, how else are you gonna get it up in there?"
Me: "..."

I can see that going well... "Excuse me, sir, I'm gonna need to you open up please."

And then we reviewed enema procedure. If you give an enema in a left side-lying position, logic would suggest that a patient lie on their right side while waiting for it to work. Or possibly on their back.

Me: "How would you position a patient to help them hold an enema?"
Her: "On their stomach with their butt in the air."
Me: Hysterical laughter

Sometimes you just have to wonder.

*Technically, oil and oral aren't homophones, but in this case they were.

keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times

Three exams stand between me and a precious 10 days of freedom.

I wish it were Thursday already.

who said this was gonna be easy?

Thanks, bff, for the reality check. Among the embarassing blunders I made yesterday:

-Struggled to divide 2 by 4. No kidding.
-Read "grains" as "grams" on a med calc test... whoops
-...and then forgot how many milligrams are in a grain (60).


...sigh.

Can you tell it's dead week? Should be renamed "hell week". This too shall pass.

we swing into class on ropes.

We had a substitute teacher in pharmacology today. We were learning about GI drugs.

Sound of helicopter outside classroom window. Grows steadily louder, continues for about five minutes.

Substitute: What is going ON out there?
Student #1: Oh, my ride's here.

Hysterical laughter from classroom. Helicopter noise finally subsides. 20 minutes later, a long, drawn-out boat horn is heard.

Student #2: Did you bring a boat, too?
Student #1: Yeah, my helicopter is parked on my boat while they wait for me. They're just early.

what we have here...

...is a failure to communicate.

Throughout my whole life (or at least the parts when I had someone other than my mother grading my papers), I have gotten good writing grades. Sometimes I can form sentences. More rarely, I string together words that make sense. When I write, I procrastinate until the point of no return, then stay up all night and drag the words out in a process so painful that it's probably not worth the good grade.

And then I had to take a Nursing Communication class.

Both of the writing projects I've done so far (a speech and a "wellness education" brochure on a health-related topic: drug-induced coma was my cheery subject) have been recieved in confusion. By this, I mean that the feedback my instructor gave me clearly showed that she had NO IDEA WHAT I WAS TRYING TO SAY.

It's frustrating.

If your communication professor doesn't understand you, is it because you're a bad communicator, or is she failing at communicating communication?

Do you see my dilemma?

I'm totally not failing any of my classes. I'm just annoyed that I have to keep doing well on the quizzes in that class to keep an A.


In other news, I just got a perfect score on an essay I turned in for the class I detest the most. Thank goodness for small favors. And pie charts. Haha.

shoot 'em up

Injections lab tonight!

It was so much fun. I'm lucky enough to have a lab partner who's game for anything and doesn't mind a weekly dose of my crazy. My lab is the last one on Mondays, and it's half the size of the other five labs in my section. We ended up getting to give both IM and SC injections to each other... all of the other labs were short on time and had to pick one.

The hardest shot to give is always the first one, and it's just because of some weird psychological thing you have to get over when you're shanking your friend in the arm for the first time (I totally cheated and got to give a shot way back in January). Nobody minded GETTING a shot... it was the GIVING them that had everyone in knots. Everybody else was shaking, awkward and very timid about pushing the needle in all the way. My instructor said I did well and my lab partner was pleasantly surprised, so I'll take it.

The really funny thing is that I'm far more confident shoving needles into humans than I am about my medication test (on mannequins) next week. Ha.

I love lab. It's my favorite. I can't wait for real clinicals.

how to survive nursing school.

Ahhh... Easter break. Five-day weekend, just long enough to start catching up on sleep before plunging back into the mad carousel ride that is finals. One more soccer game and then that's over... must coerce classmates to stop being pansies and play some pick-up footy with me. Or I'll go join a rugby club and learn to be hardcore.

Suffice it to say, soccer and indie rock & roll keep my sanity from deserting me entirely. This is my playlist for the week.

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

napping is my new hobby

I'm playing intramurals soccer. On turf. It's quite delightful, except for the serious carpet burns I get when I slide tackle people. Of course, that's why you're not supposed to slide, but sometime you just have to. Every game is total football for me. Oh soccer. You are balm to my school-weary soul.

In other news:

Grandpa: "I don't like that Reba lady."
Me: "Why? What'd she do to you?"
Grandpa: "She beat me when I told her I didn't like her music."

Hahaha.

nursing is srs bizness.

Epidemiology class. Talking about modes of transmission for disease. The prof asked us to give her examples for each type, so we did.

Sexual? Herpes.
Birth process? HIV.
Food? E. Coli.

Touching? COOTIES!


After the whole class finished snickering, she asked for a "real" example and the guy next to me protested that cooties IS a real threat. Yes, we are friends. Obviously.

Then we started arguing about how if vectors are living animals, are they still vectors when they die? For example, if a raccoon is carrying rabies, and it dies, and then you make soup out of it, will you get rabies from dead raccoon soup?

...yeah. I don't know either.

i don't remember signing up for this.

Spring break is over. Back to the daily grind. Mondays suck.

I gave a speech in communication class today. On why you should drink coffee (it's good for you, obviously). One of the guys said it was the best speech he's ever heard. He likes coffee.

In lab tonight we did blood glucose testing on each other. I ate M&Ms as fast as I could to see how high I could get mine while my partner laughed at me. 137*.

After that, we were doing neuro exams, got bored and had lightsaber duels and wizard fights with our penlights.

We also did restraints... we were practicing on a crib because it's easier to tie half-knots on round poles than on square ones. My partner and I were minding our own business and hammering the crap out of each other's deep tendon reflexes when we heard "HEY! SOMEONE COME TIE ME TO THE BED!" From our lab instructor.

Mondays are awesome.

*Normal blood sugar is ~80-120 (or 70-110 depending on which book you read)
**Obvously, stuffing your face with chocolate does not give you a fasting blood glucose.

well, poop.

We were tested on pain, cardiovascular funtion and bowel today. Interesting combination, yes? I studied CV pretty hard, but I was surprised by the amount of crap on the test. Literally. Oh, my life is so awkward. I think the worst part is that people I barely know are sharing things with me that I should get paid to hear, if I have to hear it at all.

I am not a very enthusiastic promoter of nursing school this week. One class. One class left and then spring break.

I can do this.

I got my summer schedule. Lab on Monday, class Tuesday-Wednesday (from 0815 to 1720), clinical Thursday and Friday. Social life, I'm kissing you goodbye now.

Actually, that was a joke. I'm totally a hermit. That's why I have a blog.

my soul was hardened already

Not quite halfway done with my first semester and they have my summer all plotted out. Two days for clinicals and two days for patho, psych and med/surg classes. Yay. Should be fun. I love having three-day weekends.

I got another A on my second pharm test, stayed above the class average. Sweet. I struggled with the material for awhile. Next test is everything from pain to poo in fundamentals.

Among the things overheard in catheter lab tonight:
"Hey, can I see your vagina?"

...

so passé

Pre-nursing school, my friends would go to bars (or stay home) to drink. No one calls it that anymore. Thanks to pharmacology, our conversations now go like this:

A: 'My weekend plans got cancelled. Wanna hang out? What are you up to right now?'
B: 'Me? Oh, I'm self-medicating.'

stop saying 'cohort'

It's still February and the cherry trees are blooming. As well as the magnolia outside the desolate pharm class window. Spring break is a week away.

I just took a killer pharmacology test... my whole class claims to know nothing, but apparently I managed to retain at least one fact. I was reading something about Brittany Murphy's autopsy, and among the drugs in her system was propranolol. Anyway, this website was calling it a sedative. NOT! It's a beta-blocker, for hypertension etc. There you go. The one fact I retained.

I hate that the faculty refers to my class as "the cohort." Other students are picking it up. It's such an annoying word.

Cath lab on Monday should be super fun. Yippee.

good to know

Student 1: "What is this? Hamburger?"
Student 2: "Um, no, that's supposed to be steak."
Student 1: "You're silly. Steak is shaped like Africa!"

job description

One of my professors put up this slide today in class.

WANTED

People to work long house with frequent mandatory overtime. Few holidays and weekends off. Must be able to keep massive amounts of paperwork up to date while making split-second, life-or-death decisions. Must be immune to verbal abuse and able to neutralize the occasional physical assault. Must display patience, kindness, understanding, and caring even when personal life is coming apart at the seams. Salary in no way commensurate with training and ability.

Anyone interested?

On second thought, maybe being a plumber is my true calling.

the force is strong with this one

It's getting worse. Now the boys say "SQUIRREL!" every time I get distracted by something in class. My attention span is not that short, I promise. They just like to show off their hip knowledge of Pixar movies.

Some stuff I just don't get. We were introduced to energy healing. I started pretending I could open doors like a Jedi and then mock-seriously started waving my hands above my partner's head. The prof stopped mid-sentence, looked at me and said "I feel like you've done this before."

Uh... yeah.

It's ok. I pretend to be a Jedi all the time, when I'm not busy fighting orcs. Nothing to see here, move along.


I got an A on my first pharmacology test. Clinical next Friday.

miss fidget

Still learning how to keep from killing people.

One month down. First test over. I have a constant headache which I suspect from the holes drilled in my head that knowledge is poured into four days a week.

Yesterday, we were given an exercise on energy healing. Yeah, it's a little more into alternative therapy than I'm comfortable with, but anyway. The professor started talking about finding balance and being in the moment. She asked why it was so hard for us to find stillness.

The guy sitting behind me poked me in the back and hissed "She means you!"

Guess I have a hard time sitting still for three hours. What a surprise.

living my future

It's scary.

It's scary to decide what to do with the rest of your life and then follow through on that decision.

It's scary to know that when 18 months have passed, people's lives will be in your hands.

It's scary to trust that you will be provided with the knowledge to keep people alive during that time.

So much trusting to do. So much learning to do.

Still the passion is burning within me. I want to be a trauma flight nurse. If that doesn't work out, I want to be a ground trauma nurse. So badly.

But oh! some of my classes are making me crazy!

i love that our friendship is based predominantly on threats.

I did it.

I survived the first two weeks of nursing school.

They gave me a bag of needles and told me not to leave them in the soccer field. I feel so... reliable.

Then they told me all the ways I could potentially kill somebody. I feel so... inadequate.

Two weeks down, 18 months to go.


Oh. If you're one of those people and you're reading this, stop telling me how much you hate needles when I tell you I'm going into nursing. I really don't care, and they're so much less scary than crush injuries. Which I might give you if you keep making that comment.

these will be the things that I've done

I hate calling them New Year's resolutions, but rather some things I would like to achieve in 2010. This is a stick by which to measure my progress.

1. Pay off credit card
2. Stop swearing (this is for you, Mom)
3. Learn to drive a stick shift. I'm not completely incapable, just not very adept.
4. Stop being so judgey and love people better
5. Learn to listen like Jason does
6. Pass all my classes
7. Read at least 20 non-textbooks


I think #6 might be the hardest... I'll be in school for nearly 11 of the next 12 months.

purple pride

I went to my new school to sort some things out today. Found the doors to the building in which Student Accounts is located were locked, so I went to get my parking permit. While I was filling out paperwork, two girls came in and asked if Student Accounts was open today.

Me: "Um, both doors to the building are locked, if that means anything..."
Vehicle registry lady: "Oh my gosh, that can't be right, someone should be in there. But we don't talk to them. You'd have to go to the building. But someone should be there!"

I went back, just to check.

The doors were still locked.